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Audio Software icon An illustration of a 3. Software Images icon An illustration of two photographs. Images Donate icon An illustration of a heart shape Donate Ellipses icon An illustration of text ellipses.

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Description: A game of skill with the opposite sex. The right moves will unite plumber John and daddy's girl Jane. Audience: Not suitable for children under age 13, contains nudity and sexual content and bad language.

Although, the game did have a PC version, the PC version had very limited distribution and was created by "United Pixtures", it resurfaced recently.

The game tells the story of John and Jane, who are being pressured by their respective parents to go out and find a spouse.

The player's task is to get John and Jane together. Plumbers Don't Wear Ties received negative attention for its abysmal production values, nonsensical storyline, poor acting, and for primarily being presented as a slide show despite being advertised as a full motion video game.

How many inputs? Just one. The games are obviously on CDs, which come in jewel cases, but the jewel cases come in these rectangular boxes.

This makes it hard to fit on your shelf. Attempts to fit "Captain Quazar" into shelf What a waste of space! These are the most oversized game boxes I've ever seen.

They're even bigger than the NeoGeo boxes, and NeoGeo games are huge cartridges, so they have a perfect reason to make a big box to hold a big game.

But these are just CDs , it's completely unnecessary! A lot of the more gimmicky games show off the CD technology, and are more like watching a movie than playing a game at all.

I searched high and low to find the worst possible 3DO game in this category, and I believe I've found it.

Jane: Put your big muscular arm around me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear, and I promise to do whatever your little heart desires.

Jane: Now listen up, the rules of the game are real simple. You see, I meet this guy in the parking lot, and YOU are supposed to identify with this guy….

It looks like a Kindergarten student did this in Microsoft Paint. And listen to this stock music Then come the credits. Race cars? And then it goes in a sort of a mosaic.

Looks like a bad-quality picture off the Web, then it goes to like And it just goes on and on…. But then, why would it be there anyway?

I said get up, get up, John. Get outta beeeed! John's Mom: Stop smart-mouthing with me, young man!

Why is that, John? You need children. I need grandchildren! I need my only child to bear fruit, and in my lifetime! The Nerd: …This is not a game: this is like watching a movie A movie is something that moves.

Now maybe we get to play the game. In that last scene, that bitch of a mother told her son to have kids! Now dammit Jane, you get on the stick and make some babies for your poor old father!

Then we get a montage set to Rockabilly music. Apparently, both Jane and John, these two unrelated characters, are taking showers at the same exact moment.

They drag these scenes on as long as possible. Why is any of this necessary? Do we need to see their whole daily routine - changing clothes, lifting weights, playing with cats, trying on more clothes, playing air guitar with a plunger?

Oh, so is he a plumber? Images of John wearing a tie. And it keeps on going. Why is that important? Then finally, Jane and John meet in the parking lot.

The Nerd: And now we get a narrator? After fifteen minutes of this crap, all of a sudden, we need a narrator to start explaining it?

Narrator: So, who do you want to make the first move? If you want John to do it, hit A now. But this piece of shit is way, way below that.

The Nerd: But what makes it even worse is, uh… the control. At first I thought my D-Pad was broken, but no.

What it is: you have to wait for the narration to finish. The Nerd: Every fucking time you move, you have to hear the same thing before you can use the D-Pad again!

The Nerd: So Jane rejects John and goes to a job interview. Gotta love the elevator music…. The Nerd You gotta be 18?

Reads the game box On the box, it says This was before the rating system, but what kinda fucked-up rating is this?! The box says 17, but for this one part, ya gotta be Thresher: You know, perhaps something can be worked out after all… Take your clothes off, Jane.

Thresher: You know, we get at least qualified applicants for every position here. The Nerd: Ohhh, what a bad joke. The Nerd: Time for another decision: either she refuses to take off her clothes, or she accepts.

But in the image, she seems to be taking off her clothes; while running away, but still. Did they swap the images by accident?

Jane undresses, holding a whip and handcuffs Damn! She just happened to have a whip and handcuffs? Narrator: Oh, now you done it!

You really done it! How could you make Jane into such a perverted young thing?! While he talks, he appears upside-down with a chicken head; the Nerd looks at the screen in total incomprehension.

A fuckin' chicken mask! An upside-down fuckin' chicken mask! He tries to figure it out, but gives up So anyway, Mr.

Chicken-Head scolds you for your bad decision and tells that you have one last chance. Cheering sound effect, Jane is undressed and looks triumphant.

So she strips down to her bra and skirt for no apparent reason. The boss grabs a pen and comes after her like a deranged psychopath.

Now, what was he doing in the parking lot the whole time? Just sitting on his motorcycle? Wrong-answer sound effect.

Narrator: Well, sport? You think you can handle this choice without getting the lowest score in the history of this game? Narrator: Over my dead body!

They do battle, and the Nerd is flabbergasted by such stupidity. Karate Girl: Name's Thelma. Why is this necessary? Do we not have enough narrators?

On the selection screens, we have at least two different voices talking to us. The Nerd: What?! Oh, here comes the banana peel, classic.

The longer this goes, the more you wish that it was full-motion video. But, the only motion part is the beginning.

And that was the same console, so if that game could do it, why not this one?

External Sites. Keep track of everything you watch; tell your friends. But, the only motion part is the beginning. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. The Nerd: Ohhh, what Free brunette bad joke. My fatty wife and me bbw. Interracial mature. Racy doll has Boob streamer and asshole fucked same time by hunks. Fick das luder. La belge. Hentai video streaming Online Now See All. Redhead blow job and finger fuck. Ads by Traffic Junky. My fatty wife and me bbw. Fick sie. Punk girl Young lesbians nude. Trending Searches. Mia Khalifa videos. Video Audio icon An illustration of an audio speaker. Pornhub star wars does it keep showing a naked guy lying in bed? User Redtube free sex video. Was it a school project or porn venture or what? Oh, thank God. The 3DO version is the one that Hq bbw much everyone is familiar with. The sooner John rescues Jane from the horrible-faced job interview he may redeem himself.

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